Gosh, do I hate weekends. Sooo much. Parents watching, friends watching, social gatherings (which basically means eating)...
I suppose zig zagging calories is good, but I also never get to exercise as much because I have to take Sundays off from practice so my legs don't revolt and die... *heavy sigh*
Sorry to be such a Debbie Downer, it's just one of those days :(
I'm still at 99, thank goodness, and the first day of school went well! No one commented on weight loss or anything, but I managed to not eat TOO much... Mum always wakes up early with me on the first day, so I had to stuff in some cereal (100) and an egg (78) for brekkie. I ate an apple (72) throughout the day so I wouldn't pass out at practice, which was INTENSE. I went home and did my weights/abs/etc. and then had to eat dinner with the family, for about 1000 calories :P So I'm guessing 1200 yesterday. Thank goodness I didn't gain...
Today I only ran 5 miles 'cause my legs are so sore from yesterday, and I ate an egg (78 - and I need the protein, my muscles are starting to eat themselves =/), a handful of almonds (~50 and more protein), and half a pear (47). Trying to keep that metabolism up and throw the family off the scent of me losing weight too =P Dinner is going to be chicken and veggies, emphasis on the veggies and only a tiny piece of chicken, without skin. So it should be an alright day. Tomorrow I probably won't have time to post because we're having ANOTHER family gathering, which means a ton of food, and it's my day off running... EEEEEEEEK. ERGH. >.< Monday practice is supposed to be hardcore though, so hopefully I can burn and lose...
Ugh. I was so happy for one day about the 99, and now I'm back to full-time self hatred. I wish I was normal.
Love you all, thank you ever so much for the amazing comments on my last post, truly made my week!! <3
PS: I plan to write a post about my story and why family/friends are always watching and stuff soon... the Anonymous commenter made me realize that you all have no idea if I'm faking or really have an ED or what! I really do, Anon - so, no, I can't just STOP. I wish to HEAVEN I could, but it's not like that...
*Hugs* Good on you for giving your body protein! Almonds are amazing, nut are so insanely good for you, and almonds are the best! :D
ReplyDeleteI don't allow anonymous comments on my blog, and only one person has had the balls to start shit ^.^ I was so proud of them!
Relax. It wasn't like I meant that in a mean way. I was just wondering. I'm wondering how long you'll go until you kill yourself or someone puts you into a hospital. I mean you're obviously underweight, you're already so tiny, I'm just trying to realize what is going through your head.
ReplyDeleteAre you going to keep on with your ed until.. when? you are like 50 pounds?
I'm just trying to be practical here, not trying to attack you or anything