Happy Halloween, lovelies.
Do try to enjoy yourself, yes?
You are all on my heart and mind, and I wish you the best.
Love, Posie
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Monday, October 24, 2011
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
how
how do i lose weight?
how do i lose if i can't run?
how do i stay sane if i can't run?
how can i run again?
how do i stop cutting?
how do i stop burning?
how do i hide it when i do?
how can i learn to be okay?
how do i lose if i can't run?
how do i stay sane if i can't run?
how can i run again?
how do i stop cutting?
how do i stop burning?
how do i hide it when i do?
how can i learn to be okay?
Monday, October 17, 2011
lovely mental naivety
The first three words you find describe you.
I find lovely, mental, and naive.
You?
disappear
i want to disappear
delicate
like a soap bubble - so beautiful, people are afraid to touch it
in case it breaks
in case i break.
light airy floating bones feathers wings bird flying
delicate
like a soap bubble - so beautiful, people are afraid to touch it
in case it breaks
in case i break.
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Saturday, October 15, 2011
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
105 warning
105 followers. Truly, I am honored. And noticing that improved my day, a bit. So thank you.
But. A word of warning.
To anyone not yet caught up in this hell?
I mean it.
You think EDs are glamorous? Will make you skinny pretty happy?
Lies.
You try looking/feeling/being glamorous with your head down the toilet, the knife to your arm, the laxatives when they take effect. Passing out in the halls, never having a social life cause you're terrified to eat. Your loved ones crying.
This is not glamorous, and this WILL NOT MAKE YOU HAPPY. I promise.
But another but: I love you all. And I support you in whatever you decide.
Love,
Posie
But. A word of warning.
To anyone not yet caught up in this hell?
get. out. now.
I mean it.
You think EDs are glamorous? Will make you skinny pretty happy?
Lies.
You try looking/feeling/being glamorous with your head down the toilet, the knife to your arm, the laxatives when they take effect. Passing out in the halls, never having a social life cause you're terrified to eat. Your loved ones crying.
This is not glamorous, and this WILL NOT MAKE YOU HAPPY. I promise.
But another but: I love you all. And I support you in whatever you decide.
Love,
Posie
badge of honor? badge of horror, more like it
Apparently, I ran myself so hard that I literally fractured bones in my legs.
My team thinks it's awesome - so hardcore! 6 weeks off minimum to recover, sweet deal!
Um, no.
I'm in shock. I am going to lose it.
I really am.
My team thinks it's awesome - so hardcore! 6 weeks off minimum to recover, sweet deal!
Um, no.
I'm in shock. I am going to lose it.
I really am.
Monday, October 10, 2011
why?
Why do we do this to ourselves?
//edit: starting tomorrow, every single thing that enters my mouth will be recorded here. i will keep me honest. i swear it.
What do you think?
//edit: starting tomorrow, every single thing that enters my mouth will be recorded here. i will keep me honest. i swear it.
Saturday, October 8, 2011
perfection
You think I have this perfect life.
Perfect life, perfect grades, perfect friends, perfect family, perfect boyfriend, perfect perfect perfect.
You don't know that my perfect grades are slipping, my perfect friends are actually cutters and suicidal and bulimics and anorexics, my perfect family is worried sick about me, my perfect boyfriend saw the cuts on my hips the other night, the cuts that I made myself, and that I spend my every day chasing it.
Chasing perfection.
The thing about perfection? No one's perfect.
Starvingbleedingdying to be perfect.
Perfect life, perfect grades, perfect friends, perfect family, perfect boyfriend, perfect perfect perfect.
You don't know that my perfect grades are slipping, my perfect friends are actually cutters and suicidal and bulimics and anorexics, my perfect family is worried sick about me, my perfect boyfriend saw the cuts on my hips the other night, the cuts that I made myself, and that I spend my every day chasing it.
Chasing perfection.
The thing about perfection? No one's perfect.
Starvingbleedingdying to be perfect.
Thursday, October 6, 2011
together
WE ARE GOING TO LOSE WEIGHT!
We will be skinny and gorgeous and unstoppable and strong and admired and simply the best.
Together, girls, we will do this.
I know it.
Who's with me?
We will be skinny and gorgeous and unstoppable and strong and admired and simply the best.
Together, girls, we will do this.
I know it.
Who's with me?
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
explanations
I am terribly sorry that I'm such a crap blogger.
A brief word of explanation: I am a senior in high school, taking four college classes and two other honors classes. I have a GPA of 5.1, and am ranked second in my class of nearly 700 students. I am a two season athlete (xc and spring track), president of my school's community service club, assistant editor of our newspaper, and am currently applying to eight different colleges as well as numerous financial aid/merit scholarships.
I do not tell you this to brag, I tell you this to explain my sorry lack of posting. I am, quite simply, too busy! My life is insanity.
On the weight loss front: I eat enough to function well enough to keep up all of the above. My weight is disgusting; I am disgusting, and I wish that were an exaggeration, but it's not. At all. I think I weigh about 105 pounds. Can we all say NASTY FAT ASS together? But I would be more disgusting if I failed at the above. So. I don't know what to do.
On the cutting front: It's a lot. Thank heavens for colder weather and long sleeves. Also boyfriend found out. Shitshitshit.
On the cold front (haha): IT'S SO COLD HERE. I'm miserable. I miss summer.
Update me in the comments on all of you? I miss Blogger and my girls.
Love love love,
Posie
PS: Britni Marie - Wicked is DEFINITELY a must see - simply AMAZING!
A brief word of explanation: I am a senior in high school, taking four college classes and two other honors classes. I have a GPA of 5.1, and am ranked second in my class of nearly 700 students. I am a two season athlete (xc and spring track), president of my school's community service club, assistant editor of our newspaper, and am currently applying to eight different colleges as well as numerous financial aid/merit scholarships.
I do not tell you this to brag, I tell you this to explain my sorry lack of posting. I am, quite simply, too busy! My life is insanity.
On the weight loss front: I eat enough to function well enough to keep up all of the above. My weight is disgusting; I am disgusting, and I wish that were an exaggeration, but it's not. At all. I think I weigh about 105 pounds. Can we all say NASTY FAT ASS together? But I would be more disgusting if I failed at the above. So. I don't know what to do.
On the cutting front: It's a lot. Thank heavens for colder weather and long sleeves. Also boyfriend found out. Shitshitshit.
On the cold front (haha): IT'S SO COLD HERE. I'm miserable. I miss summer.
Update me in the comments on all of you? I miss Blogger and my girls.
Love love love,
Posie
PS: Britni Marie - Wicked is DEFINITELY a must see - simply AMAZING!
shout out!
to Britni Marie and Tempest! Check out their lovely blogs.
I love Wicked.
Good job girls, stay strong.
I love Wicked.
Good job girls, stay strong.
Saturday, October 1, 2011
one question haunts and hurts
too much, too much to mention
was i really seeking good
or just seeking attention?
was i really seeking good
or just seeking attention?
whoever comments first with what this is a quote from gets a shout out from me to my 102 followers - love youuu
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