I lack it.
I did AMAZING last night, and I've completely screwed up today already. Dammit. *sobsigh*
I was 89 this morning. I won't be tomorrow morning.
I'm trying to think of it as healthy for my body, make my running better, I've got til Thanksgiving to be solidly in the 80s, boost my metabolism... but oh God, the voices in my head are SHRIEKING at me, Posie the fattyfatfat stupid hungry spineless pig WHALE.
I will not let them in.
I MUST not let them win.
But they will. I'm starting to think it's inevitable.
Love <3
You do not lack it at all! Look how far you've come! Would a person in their 80/90s lack control? No and you definitely do not. You are such an inspiration, don't put yourself down coz we all have our bad days. You're doing so well :) x
ReplyDeleteposie. i freaking love you. :D cool.
ReplyDeleteand hey as you said you did AMAZING last night so there's a positive :)
By thanksgiving you will be 80 or even UNDER i just know it
xoxo
89 is still damned good, though. Think about it. Only a short time ago, you were still battling at 102.
ReplyDeleteYou're doing great =]
Do you mind if i vent to you...? I'd post this as a blog but I don't want someone i know in person to read it then come tell my mom. I'm furious...
ReplyDeleteI bought a small hollow clear tube and a syringe... so if i over at I could pump my stomach... well my friend was with me when i bought them so she called my parents and told them I bought some odd stuff... so then my mom goes through my bag takes it out and has my dad return it. FUCK I'm so PISSED OFF
I'm sure you did well today. 89 is amazing girl.
Britni, love, you can ALWAYS vent to me! Feel free to post here whenever you want <3
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry about your situation :( You need to talk to someone, honey - get this off your chest. I love you, thanks for the belief; I didn't do well but I'm working on it.