bleeding where they can't see

I hate weekends.

hate em hate em hate em hate em hate em

I don't even know how much I weigh but I feel like a WHALE so enormous and gross and disgusting.

I hate myself.

I just want to rip these fucking demons OUT OF MY HEAD so I can have quiet.

I just want quiet.

I just want silence and self-control and strength.  I just want to be thin and steel-ribbed with power behind my eyes and a skip in my step because I'm so light I could float on air.  I want to cry all the tears out and cut all the fat off and shine, thin thin thin thin thin thin......

Help me.  Oh God, help me before I go stark raving loony-bin MAD.