from "memento mori" to a phoenix rising
sickness to recovery

Saturday, January 22, 2011

speedy

Speedy post!

Isobel, midterms are both!  Important exams in the middle of each term.  Hence, me studying my butt off (heh, if only, eh?) this week/next :(  I miss y'all.  I owe you an update (pinky promise!) and replies to your wonderful comments.  You lovely people <3  still wondering, any guys out there?  I'm curious.

I was 91 this morning but it will go up after the weekend because I'll be home studying and parents will make me eat.  Trying not to stress too much about it.  Am stressing, but whatever.  It's unavoidable and it'll help a. keep them off my case for longer and b. them not worry, which is good.

I do have a question on which I need some advice though.  The spring track season starts soon and I need a physical.  I'm (obviously) no where near my lowest weight but my doctor is gonna flippppp.  Should I gain weight (GAH) or just keep losing and deal with it when it comes or maintain or whaaaat?  I want to see the 80s again SO FREAKING BADLY I miss my hip bones stabbing out...

The other day my bf put his arm around me and squeezed my waist and (jokingly, I hope? pray) said, "Aww, you're getting squishy!  Your hips don't stab me anymore!"

I know hope to God that he was joking but it still hurt.  A lot.  A really lot.

I hate how I can see myself relapsing, wtf.

Anyway, any and all comments truly appreciated, I need some help.
Lots of love.

2 comments:

  1. lady you are still tiny so your bf must have just been joking. I would maintain becuase once you start track youll lose quickly anyway

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  2. Dear lord... I would have probably burst out in tears.. I'll bet he was joking, but still. I can definitely see why it hurt.
    As for Track. I honestly think you should maybe gain enough for them not to worry, and then use the track season to get rid of the weight again. That's what I would do.
    xoxo

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