from "memento mori" to a phoenix rising
sickness to recovery

Thursday, December 30, 2010

halfway to decent, i got lost on the way to normal

Why do I only feel halfway decent about myself when I'm starving?

Is there a switch, somewhere in the dark, cobwebby corners of my psychotic brain, that I can flip?  Flip back to this mythical "Normal" that people speak of and tell me I should be?

Maybe I've gained enough weight to be almost "Normal," but I don't feel "Normal."

I will never be "Normal" and I've accepted that.

And so, I will starve.

3 comments:

  1. I know what you mean. Stay safe sweetie. I mean it. No one is normal. Sending you love :)
    xoxox

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  2. yeah i feel the same. i've got a damn switch It's currently set to "normal" because im in "recovery" and i hate it. i want skinny so badly.

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  3. I'm convinced that there's no such thing as normal for anyone... especially girls like us. While unbelieveably corny-sounding, there's no way ever (unless there's some .000001% chance out there) that we could be average, like the people we're around for the most part on a daily basis. There's just no way. Because one thing would lead to another and we'd start thinking and thinking...

    xo
    Victoria

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