still busy

but i was doing really well for awhile

utterly fucked up this weekend [fatfuckuselessbitchworthlesswhorewhybotherlivingjustcutandstarve]

but i'll get back on track tomorrow

i have to
i need to
thinthinthin

i'll update when i can

i can feel myself falling again and i can't don't want to stop it

been awhile

but i've lost a bit!

will post a proper update soon, when my busy schedule calms down

so i haven't weighed myself

but hunger pangs are good, right?

the rest of my life

STARTS RIGHT NOW.

I'm done with this shit.  Healthy, happy, in control, confident, and more - this will be me.

Not to mention drop dead gorgeous and knock em dead thin.

i hope.  help me?

yes

i wrote the poem in the last post

love is found in bodies

in the slope of bare backs

pooled in the hollows of collarbones

curled in the curve of a hip

in the sharp angel wings

of shoulderblades

jutting above bedsheets

in the fire left

by fingertips 

traced over skin

cooled by kisses

in legs tangled together and

hands cupped on cheeks

fingers twined and 

arms wrapped around

each other.

a question

I'm working on an assignment for English class.

A poem.

And I need some inspiration, so I ask you all a question:

What does it mean to you to have an eating disorder?

things

things that i love:  the Boy, spring, sun, daffodils, grass, bare feet, the sound of a keyboard, the taste of mango, the smell of rain, the feel of velvet, painted fingernails, thigh gap, braids, scented markers.

things that i hate:  wannarexics.

etc.

hello my name is

hello my name is [name]

i am a [recovered] [recovering] [current] anorexic and self-harmer

but that is not who i am


hello my name is [name]

i am not my ED

i am not my self-harm

i am me